True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
