Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
