Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Life is so much better after having sex.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize