I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
no more duck duck goose at the bar
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
