Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize