I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
