i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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