I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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