what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize