Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
