I have demons in me.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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