At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
its liver damage thursday
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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