Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
