idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
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