Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
