idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
