my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
