K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
i out mim tonsoeep
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