the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
