so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
