I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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