Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
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