its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize
