'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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