At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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