i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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