fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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