yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
