I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Randomize