gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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