fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize
