Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Randomize
