omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
