so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
