My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
