Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
