Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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