i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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