Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
