Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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