he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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