if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
