I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
