oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
