that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
