i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
