I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize