Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
