he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
