I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
