Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize