The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Just took my morning after pill in the library
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize