"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
My ass is underappreciated
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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