i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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