When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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