What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
