I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Randomize
