and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
