Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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