Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
