don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Randomize
