Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
